“Over 12.5 Million unemployed!”  The words pierced my heart as I sat in the pew facing my Bishop.  Although, I myself was unemployed my spirits sunk as I thought of the other 12,499,999.   For the past few weeks, I was following God’s lead.  He revealed a purpose for me to write a manual for men.  It was a manual that outlined a process of recreating yourself in His image and leading through troubled times.  I followed His direction “almost” to the letter; I found that my lack of understanding the purpose for the book limited my time management.  I wrote sparingly as opposed to diligently.

 “650,000 in February alone…” he continued.   The Lord was laying a reprimand on my soul that sent chills down my spine.  My purpose was as clear as the winter nights on the New Jersey coastline where I grew up.  “Raise your hands if you have a job,” he commanded.  I held my wife closely, she was in her second week of being unemployed and we were living off of her severance while surviving on faith.  Faith that the decisions we made about starting a boutique and publishing the “Words Of A Sinner” series of books would be led by God.  The mere thought He would guide us in our endeavors calmed our fears and quashed timid actions.

“8.1%, the highest unemployment rate since 1983!”  I shut my eyes in disbelief as God’s purpose for me pushed my imagination into high gear.  How many men?  How many leaders?  How many souls?  My heart fell further into my chest; the book was in the editing stage but I should have been prepared to move in His will at that very moment.  Red doors in a room labeled “reality” began to open before my closed eyes.  Door number one: a husband turns to alcohol and pushes his family away.  Door number two: a wife becomes the sole provider for the family.  Door number three: a wife loses her job and a two-income home must survive on one income.  Door number four: a once loving man becomes an insensitive abuser because he simply cannot handle the pressure.  Door number five: a rope.  Hundreds of doors began to open and close.  The squeaking joints growing louder the slamming resounding like thunder.

The drive home was one of silence for me as my wife spoke to our children positioned in the back seat.  I silently begged God for forgiveness for my slothfulness.  Rationalizing thoughts strengthened my mood as I explained the new weight upon me to my wife.  “The Lord is good and He knows what I can handle,” I confessed.  “If I would have been aware of the magnitude of my purpose, I don’t believe I would have gotten this far.  The pressure alone would have stopped me in my tracks but He has revealed my purpose when the enormity of it can only fuel a fire beneath me!”  She sat quietly and nodded in agreement.  The next step was getting the word out.